lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I wannas sexs uuuuu
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
