I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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