worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
