Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
