dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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