did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
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at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
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is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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