there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
