why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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