You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
