so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
