You just made me feel so damn special
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
you had me at cake vodka
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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