You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
