In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
