He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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