I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
