Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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