U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
where are my eyebrows?
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