So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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