i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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