I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
