we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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