Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You were trust falling into bushes
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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