He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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