I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
you made out with another girl for some wings
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
