just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
