Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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