Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
