dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
