i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
