My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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