well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
