my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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