we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Randomize
