hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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