is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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