he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
