white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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