Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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