nut hugger
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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