apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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