I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
