That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
