I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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