When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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