I think i sorta joined a cult last night
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
