Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
