No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize