He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Dear god my vagina.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.