Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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