Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
