either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
All the doctor said was why
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
