You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm both gender and math confused
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
