I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
