just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm too high and old for this...
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
