Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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