I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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