I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize