please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA