"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
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I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
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Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.