This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!