I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.