You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
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Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
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If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.