Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I should be sponsored by Trojan
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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