So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
