i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
