I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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