Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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