i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
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Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize